Traveling with Teenagers

By Tara Roberts

Traveling with a teenager is a lot like traveling with a small infant. You still have to pack of lot of things to keep them entertained; the toys are just more complicated. Older kids also tend to sleep for hours, make lots of noise when they are unhappy or hungry, and are difficult to reason with. There is a definite communication barrier. Adults and teens actually do speak two different languages.

Again, as with infants, teenagers require a great deal of care when going outside the confines of your home. The farther the distance away, the more planning you have to do. Do you have enough toys to occupy them, enough food to quiet them, enough planned to distract them?

Family vacations can be a source of pleasure - for everyone, even a reluctant teen. The point to remember is that they are closer to being adults than they are to being kids. They have separate lives and ideas should be respected. Let them help with the preparations for a family vacation and it will help them feel more included and not just forced to go along.

• Consider their schedule – Today’s teens don’t just sit around all summer doing nothing. Many have seasonal jobs, plans with their friends, or if they’re active in school sports, have conditioning and camps they’re required to attend. Plan around these things, it’s important to your kids.
• Give them some privacy – Book a suite or separate, but connected, rooms if possible. As kids get older they value their privacy more. Sharing a room with your parents at age 6 is very different than at 16.
• Let them sleep – When they have the chance, teens will take full advantage of any opportunity to sleep. Vacations are for relaxing and teens need to unwind too. Plan to do things you know they won't want to while they sleep. Take an early morning walk or watch the sun rise with your spouse. Enjoy some down time of your own.
• Bring a friend – Family togetherness is the primary goal on vacation, but everyone needs a friend his or her own age to have fun with too. Let them invite a friend along. It’s also a good way for parents to get to know the people their kids hang out with.
• Keep them cyber connected – Look for Internet cafes, or many hotels now offer Internet connections. Not every one of your teen’s pals can join them on vacation; give them a chance to keep in touch with friends at home. Remember cell phones are valuable cyber tools too.
• Plug them in – Today’s teens have so many electronic gadgets available to keep them distracted – DVDs, handheld games, MP3 players, and CD players - you may forget they’re with you. Remember extra batteries, recharging cords, and especially headphones. That constant barrage of beeps, buzzes and unintelligible song lyrics would be enough to make any parent turn the car around and hide at home.
• Turn over the keys - Let them have a turn at the wheel if they’re old enough. It takes some of the driving burden off you and it gives them a whole new prospective on how nerve-wracking it can be. Have a relaxed schedule so no one has to be in a hurry. Be patient, instructive.
• Have a plan - Like small children, you have to keep their attention. Too much down time and everyone gets bored, and boredom can be fatal to family fun.
• Don’t micromanage – By the same token, trying to cram a scheduled event into every second can get tedious. You don't have to have every minute of every day mapped out. Rent a movie, order room service or pizza delivery, and relax.
• Try the one-day plan - Give them a say in where to go and what to do. They might surprise you with some great ideas. Let them plan one day's adventures, and agree to participate in whatever they want to do.
• Take a chance - Remember what it was like to be a teenager and do something outrageous with your kids - roller coasters, bungee jump, white water rafting, or parasailing. It will impress them more than you can imagine. You might even become cool again.
• Be spontaneous - Be prepared to change plans at the last minute. Take a side trip to a roadside attraction or stop for lunch at a mom-and-pop diner.
• Plan some together time - Do some one-on-one bonding with your child. Plan a Girls’ Day (most big malls have a cosmetic department that offers makeovers), or Boys’ Night Out (find a ballgame to attend or watch the latest action movie). Or better yet, Dad take your daughters out for dinner, or Mom, enjoy an evening alone with your sons.
• Show them the money - Give them their own spending money and loosen buying restrictions. Look for interesting stores with items you can’t find at home. Let them buy tacky souvenirs.
• Bend the rules - Let them do what they want – within reason. Stay up late, sleep late, eat dessert first, and live a little.
• Smile for the camera – Kids like to take pictures of everything. Bring a disposal or digital camera to capture the moment and let them be the family photographer for the trip. When you get home, go through the photos together and frame the best ones.
• Let them be miserable – Despite your best efforts, you will find that you cannot make everyone happy, all the time. Sometimes you just have let them pout. Let them get it out of their system and move on.